SuperInfluence: Using Need-Forward Questions
In This Episode
Feeling stuck or noticing others getting in their own way? Learn how SuperInfluencers use the transformative Need-Forward skill to create positivity and progress for themselves and others.
Our guest Grace Pfisterer is also a Leadership Coach and works with clients to explore the outcomes they most deeply desire, identify what's getting in the way, and drive intentional action to make those outcomes a reality. She's currently pursuing her coaching certification through Co-Active Training Institute.
Wanna dig a little deeper? Check out the research referenced in this episode:
Sigal, Barsad C., et al. "Emotional contagion in organizational life." Research in Organizational Behavior 38: (2018) pp.137-151
Chermahini, Soghra Akbari & Hommel, Bernhard. "Creative Mood Swings: Divergent and Convergent Thinking Affect Mood in Opposite Ways" Psychological Research 76 (5): pp 634-40
Transcript
Vanessa Tanicien, narrating: Hello, and welcome to The LeaderLab, the podcast powered by LifeLabs Learning. I'm your host and LifeLab Leadership Trainer, Vanessa Tanicien. In each episode, my Labmates and I distill our findings into powerful tipping point skills — the smallest changes that tip over to make the biggest impact in the shortest time.
Vanessa Tanicien: LeaderLab Listeners, you are in for a treat. We're continuing the conversation on influence, specifically SuperInfluencers. These are the folks that are able to impact the behavior of others without relying on authority. What's really cool about this particular skill set is it's especially important for working at a distance.
Vanessa Tanicien: To help me unpack this next SuperInfluencing skillset is Grace Pfisterer. Grace is a Program Consultant at LifeLabs Learning, and she got her Master's Degree in communication management, so she knows a thing or two about how to have a good conversation. Grace is also a leadership coach and a LifeLabs peer coach, and she loves celebrating small goals. Oh, actually she calls them smalls. Welcome to the lab, Grace.
Grace Pfisterer: Thanks, Vanessa. So excited to be here. This is one of my smalls, so it's a pleasure to see it come to life.
Vanessa Tanicien: I'm excited to help bring it to life as well, especially since you're helping us unpack another SuperInfluencing skill set. What are we walking through today?
Grace Pfisterer: Today, we're focusing on something called the needs forward, and this is essentially a microcommunication skill that comes from our influential communication workshop here at LifeLabs.
Vanessa Tanicien: Got you. I'm wondering how I can begin to use the needs forward? Don't keep me in suspense.
Grace Pfisterer: Yeah, essentially what a needs forward is, is it's helping folks to move from a space of stuckness, to a space of possibility. The way that we actually do this is by converting what it is that we don't want into something that we do want. So, imagine you said to me, "Hey, Grace, I don't want to be bored in that meeting." Right? That would be the thing that I don't want.
Vanessa Tanicien: I told you not to tell anyone.
Grace Pfisterer: It stays here. This is a safe space. If you were to convert it, it would turn into, "I want to be engaged in that meeting." Right? So that would be the way that we would needs forward, and really the crux of it is to help folks move from a space of stuckness to a world of possibility.
Vanessa Tanicien: Ooh, I don't know. I get images of rainbows and butterflies when you talk about possibility. But linking that back to influence, how does using needs forwards get us there?
Grace Pfisterer: People want to be around people that are positive, that are motivating, that drive engagement. By using the needs forward, they can actually help folks do many things. But a few that come to mind are creating greater clarity, helping folks to feel seen and heard, and at the end of the day, building relationships. That's really what SuperInfluencing is about, is fostering that sense of trust so you can then have an impact on the way that folks are showing up. Which has an impact on team members and eventually organizations as well.
Vanessa Tanicien: Well, I feel like there's a little bit of research that's floating on the tip of your tongue when you talked about teams and organizations. Grace, what do you have for me there?
Grace Pfisterer: Totally. We're going to be talking about something called emotional contagion. There was research done here by Hatfield and her team. Essentially, what that means is exactly what it sounds like, that emotions are contagious. As SuperInfluencers, we want to harness the positive emotional contagion so that we can use it to drive better team dynamics, better communication, and ultimately better performance.
Vanessa Tanicien: You're telling me if I'm in a good mood, I could possibly get everybody else in a good mood.
Grace Pfisterer: Yeah. What's cool about emotional contagion too, is it's both conscious and subconscious. SuperInfluencers have the ability to not only influence what folks are thinking and feeling, but also ultimately what they do.
Vanessa Tanicien: Ah, and that's where that needs forward comes in.
Grace Pfisterer: That's it.
Vanessa Tanicien: Because we are moving from, yeah, that stuck negative space into this land of possibility. I can already feel it in my bones, but let's see if we can make this a reality on air. Can you walk me through how to needs forward?
Grace Pfisterer: Yeah. What I would love for you to do, Vanessa, is to tell me something that you don't want, specifically in your professional world.
Vanessa Tanicien: I don't want my next project to fail, straight up.
Grace Pfisterer: Right.
Vanessa Tanicien: I'm very nervous about it. I keep talking about it on the podcast, but we're restructuring a number of different things.
Grace Pfisterer: Yeah.
Vanessa Tanicien: There's a lot of moving parts and a lot's riding on it.
Grace Pfisterer: For sure. There's a lot of pressure potentially here and you don't want this project to fail, which I think a lot of the people can relate to. How would you actually convert that? If you use the needs forward, how might you be able to convert that to a space of possibility?
Vanessa Tanicien: Well, I want the project to succeed, right?
Grace Pfisterer: For sure. I'm curious, what does success look like for you?
Vanessa Tanicien: Great question. I think generally, it is hitting the metrics that were outlined for me before the project started, as well as getting buy-in across the company. It's not only just seeing it through to the finish line, it's making sure that everybody's on board. That's what that would look like for me.
Grace Pfisterer: Yeah, absolutely. Hitting metrics and getting buy-in across the company. Fantastic. You'll probably notice that you've been able to shift from a space of dis-ease, to feeling more engaged, more excited and motivated.
Vanessa Tanicien: Yeah, I think what's so interesting about just doing this exercise in two seconds, I am very clear that I don't want this project to fail has me come off in a completely different way. Suddenly, I'm anxious, I'm nervous, versus, I want this project to succeed. There's a little bit more empowerment there.
Grace Pfisterer: Absolutely. You can completely feel the shift in energy, even the way that your voice is coming across is more hopeful. When you think about something that we don't want, that can feel a little bit nebulous, right. It can feel unclear.
Grace Pfisterer: Really, the shift that we are looking to achieve is not only moving from don't want to want, but also moving from passive to active and really moving from a space of disengagement and feeling checked out to tapping into internal locus of control so we can be fully engaged in the way that we're showing up. Are you feeling that too?
Vanessa Tanicien: Yeah. I'm feeling just a little bit of pep in my step, and I have you to thank for that, Grace.
Grace Pfisterer: Of course.
Vanessa Tanicien: I would love to hear your thoughts on where are the places and spaces in the world of work that we should be applying the needs forward?
Grace Pfisterer: It really hits the big three. This is something that can be used and applied across individuals, across teams and even across organizations. Which is really exciting because it means there's plenty of opportunities to actually use the needs forward in practice.
Grace Pfisterer: As a SuperInfluencer, whether you are a manager, whether you're an individual contributor, you can use this when you're driving conversations with folks, when you're in a cross collaborative project as well, especially, as you are thinking about what the goals are? You can use this in meetings.
Grace Pfisterer: Really to get clarity if there is some misunderstanding or if there is a little bit of gray area that also applies with this remote and hybrid work environment where we know that communication is that much more important. All of these places have room for application of the needs forward.
Vanessa Tanicien: Love it, and that brings us to our LeaderLab listener experiment. Grace, what are we asking our folks to experiment with in their laboratories of life?
Grace Pfisterer: I would love for our listeners to think about something that they don't want in their professional worlds, and then to do the exercise of converting it using the needs forward to something that they do want to happen.
Grace Pfisterer: Then to take it one step further, because we know accountability is super important, I would love for them to share it with their manager, with a family member, a friend, anyone that will actually hold them accountable to make sure that they are actually using the needs forward.
Vanessa Tanicien: I love that. Thanks, Grace.
Grace Pfisterer: Thank you.
Vanessa Tanicien: I'm feeling more positive already.
Vanessa Tanicien: That's a wrap of another episode of the LeaderLab. Make sure to subscribe and share this with at least one other person so we can all be SuperInfluencers. It's pretty awesome. The LeaderLab is executive produced and hosted by me, Vanessa Tanicien. NeEddra James is our senior producer and Alana Burman is our director and editor. If you'd like to hang out with us on social, go ahead and find us on LinkedIn at LifeLabs Learning and on Twitter at LifeLabsLearn. To bring training to your team, head on over to lifelabslearning.com. See you in the lab.
