How to Manage Conflict at Work: A Manager’s Guide
Collaboration is the name of the game in today’s digital-driven hybrid workplace. But where there's collaboration, there's bound to be conflict. Team members often clash over communication styles, priorities, and perspectives. And this friction isn’t just a headache – it’s a productivity killer. One study even found we waste nearly 8 hours a week (yep, that's a whole workday!) due to poor collaboration.
On the bright side, teams that engage in productive conflict are more innovative and successful. Those with strong conflict skills can handle tension gracefully and accelerate their collaborative efforts, leading to higher productivity (25%+), engagement, and profitability, as well as reduced attrition (by 50%).
Productive vs. unproductive conflict
So, what exactly is productive conflict? While conflict comes from opposing needs, drives, wishes, or demands, productive conflict happens when you disagree on the process but share the same goals.
On the flip side, unproductive conflict happens when you don’t agree on the goals or purpose, leading to strained relationships and project failures. In fact, 86% of workplace failures are blamed on a lack of collaboration.
For skillful conflict and collaboration, you need to spot when conflict is productive so you can build on it, and when it’s not so you can step in and steer it back into productive territory.
How to handle conflict at work as a manager
The first step to managing conflict at work is knowing where collaboration hotspots are in your org – these are places where teamwork is essential but often falters. We'll look at some common hotspots, and give you some key habits to keep things on track when conflict flares up.
Hotspot: Turfing – Habit: Position vs. interest
Turfing is an “us versus them” mentality, where you see the person or group you’re in conflict with as the enemy. (Think protecting your turf.) This mindset is so natural you have to deliberately get curious about the other side’s POV to avoid it.
Develop a position vs. interest habit to help.
Position = What a party says they want
Interest = Why they want it.
For example, both parties might say they want the same resource, but their reasons (interests) for wanting it differ.
To resolve conflict at work, help team members differentiate between positions and interests. Focus on the why behind the what. Here’s how to break it down:
First, distinguish between your own position and interest in the conflict to help you communicate more effectively.
Then, ask the other person open-ended questions like, "What led you to that thought?" and "What is important to you about that?" to help you better understand their needs.
Hotspot: Competing priorities – Habit: Us vs. the problem
Conflicts often arise over resources, where both sides are vying for time, energy, or focus. To turn competing priorities into productive collaboration, reframe the problem.
Encourage team members to stop viewing a conflict as one side versus the other, and instead think of it as us vs. the problem. Have them zoom out and consider, “What are we BOTH trying to solve?” This helps people:
Identify the shared problem beneath differing positions.
Recognize that both sides are motivated to solve a common issue.
Hotspot: Role confusion – Habit: DACI check
Even with the right people making great strategic decisions, strategy can fail if the wrong people are involved (or not involved) at the wrong times. Role confusion is the culprit and common conflict instigator here.
When you sense confusion about responsibilities or what owning them means, it’s time for a DACI check. The DACI framework reduces confusion around who’s doing what.
Simply asking, "Are we clear on our DACI roles here?" can surface friction points and improve collaboration by defining the roles in a group effort.
Hotspot: Communication logistics – Habit: Norm check
Communication logistics cover the “who, what, where, how, and when” of how we communicate. Even if you're 100% aligned on goals, poor communication can spark conflict. If communication feels off, pause and get curious about why.
“Sometimes, even harder than escalated conflict is that energy drain where people don’t know where to begin. Communication norms really hit home with teams that have varying tenure, and when they’re not sure why working with each other is hard.”
Use a norm check to uncover ways of working that might not be obvious, especially in cross-functional collaborations. This might look like clarifying when to use email vs. chat, naming the source of truth for a decision, or standardizing when to schedule meetings across time zones.
Ask questions and share preferences to align on the "how" of communication. This simple habit prevents unproductive assumptions and makes for much smoother collaboration.
Here are some norms to consider:
Action items: How and where will action items be communicated?
Response time: What’s the expected turnaround time for communication?
Dark time: When should we NOT expect communication?
Source of truth: Where’s the definitive source for projects, info, and decisions?
Channels: What’s the best way to reach each other for different tasks?
Hotspot: Conflict avoidance – Habit: Normalize conflict
A lot of folks try to avoid conflict. But really, it’s just a form of communication – avoiding it only makes it unproductive. Make the goal with your team not to prevent conflict but instead to reframe it into productive conflict.
Start by normalizing it! Here are two ways how:
1. Name it to tame it
Addressing the “elephant in the room” means talking about the obvious issue everyone’s ignoring. For example, folks may have concerns about an idea but stay silent to avoid seeming negative. Ignoring such issues can quickly harm performance. Name, or label, them instead.
Helping team members name the tension or emotions they’re feeling helps them shift from experiencing to analyzing them. It activates critical thinking, opening the door for curiosity and problem-solving. Once they’ve named the “elephant,” have them ask:
How important is this issue to me?
Is this my issue to solve?
What do I want to happen?
What do I think is realistic?
When should I bring it up?
2. Red teaming
Sometimes, there’s no apparent conflict because everyone agrees or too many “yes people” are involved. While comfortable, this stifles creativity and innovation. When you sense the group isn’t challenging ideas enough, invite productive conflict with red teaming.
Red teaming involves assigning one person to “put on the red shirt” and critically evaluate ideas, challenge assumptions, and identify pros and cons. This role-based critique feels safer for folks and surfaces alternative perspectives. You can systematically do this by having a red shirt round-robin where everyone takes a turn critiquing an idea.
Focus on self vs. others’ behavior
The best way to handle conflict at work is to encourage collaborators to focus on what they can control – their reactions and behaviors – rather than trying to change others. Even if someone handles everything perfectly, conflict can still be unproductive due to factors beyond their control.
The bottom line: how we behave in conflict situations matters. By consistently modeling positive behaviors, we can inspire others to adopt similar approaches.
TRY IT!
Reflect on your strengths and challenges in managing conflict at work. Identify one hotspot you’d like to improve or a habit you'd like to develop. By fine-tuning your skills you can better navigate conflicts and encourage productive collaboration.
Want more insights on managing conflict at work?
Explore our Skillful Conflict & Collaboration Workshop.
